ErdemCredit: Isidore Montag/Isidore Montag
On the Quora website – don’t tell me I’m the only one who clicks on their emails – someone declared recently that shoes are the shape they are because the foot is inherently ugly and demands disguise.
But surely ugliness is in the eye of the socially conditioned. Feet, in their untethered, un-tortured state (ie freed from pointy, tippy-tappy footwear) are a wonder of anatomy. They should be celebrated. OK, maybe not with one of those weird five-toed Vibram shoes – not at a party anyway. But with something appreciative and pretty. Namely: a platform shoe.
Uh-oh, you’re thinking, doesn’t she know about platforms? There is nothing I don’t know about platforms. And for what it’s worth, not all platforms are equal. Some – I won’t name names – are carved out of concrete. Others are so shoddily engineered they feel as precarious as Melania’s smile.
The perfect party platform, IMHO, has a thick heel and a solid platform, but a rake sufficient to tilt the foot at a flattering, party-appropriate angle. It works with everything from jeans to ball gowns. It should have wide straps and a chunky buckle, because that makes it cute and gives you that strapped-in-securely feeling, which always feels disproportionately wonderful.
Since contradictions are key, the perfect party platform must come in luxurious fabrications, such as velvet or satin. The sole will be padded, or at least supportive. Prada’s 85mm sandals with 40mm platforms fit the bill perfectly. They are very expensive, and very worth it. Then again, Marks & Spencer’s are £35, and come with M&S’s brilliant, patented Insolia, which redistributes the body’s weight. There are other candidates in between: try as many as you have patience for.
The ultra-observant will have spotted another potential flaw: a sandal in winter. Go find some seam-free, statement tights.
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